1. Trauma doesn't exist.

What we define as trauma, is basically a fixed mindset — a tool we create internally — to avoid facing painful emotions from our past failures or disturbing experiences.
They are thoughts and fears created based on a few data points from our past.
Our mind overfits to those few experiences.
It warns us to run away upon facing similar situation, just like our body reflects instinctively to a sudden physical threat.

"Trauma" is defined by the meanings we give to those few painful experiences, not the experiences themselves.
If we can redefine those meanings, we can overcome the trauma.
It usually happens with expanding on those experiences, gathering more data, or simply put, doing more of what we fear.

2. We have internal goals for everything we do (or don't do).

Our actions are justifiable not by our past experiences, but by the (subconcious) goals we have in mind.
For instance, a mother shouting at her child, did not get angry because the child did something wrong. The child is not to blame, he is just learning. That mother subconciously used her anger as a tool to overpower her child. Her internal goal is to be more effective in making her child behave the way she wants, so she gets angry.
In human behavior, looking for their internal goals often reveals more than looking at what caused it.
So next time you see someone being rude to you, before starting a fight, think about their internal goal. Maybe it's just that they are having a bad day, and seeing someone else have a bad day with them makes them feel less lonely. So if you pick that fight, you've fulfilled their internal goal.

We tend to live in the world of possiblities, rather than facing the truth that may not be as satisfying.
The internal goal with this is usually to save us from the unpleasant reality, which could be worse than our imaginations.
I always dream of writing fascinating fictions, but I never have finished writing a story. I always tell myself that I'm busy with work, my lifestyle doesn't allow me that, etc. But the real reason (my hidden goal) is I want to leave the possibility of “I can do it if I try” open, by not committing to anything. I'm afraid of exposing my work to criticism, and don't want to face the reality that I might suck at writing fictions.

3. People can change

We tend to stay the same because we are familiar with the outcomes.
It's like owning an old car, it rattles, but you know what to do if it drifts a bit to the right.
Our inertia is still a choice, an unconcious choice to not change.

We are curious beings, our mind cannot tolarate the unknowns.
That's why change is hard, it requires some tolerance of unfamiliarity and chaos.
To change is a matter of courage.
The courage to jump into the unknown, knowing that there could be risks of emotional or physical pain.
Asking someone to change is like asking someone not to be worried, or not to be sad.
It doesn't work that way, it requires taking small steps towards getting brave enough to face the unfamiliarities of change.
Everyone can change, but it's a matter of overcoming the never-fading inner fear.

4. Freedom is being disliked by other people.

There is no objective view to the world, we all live in subjective stories our minds create.
You are the protagonist of only your own story.
Just because you see the world only from your eyes, doesn't mean center of the world, no one is.
Just like the globe, every country can be the center of the world, at the same time, none of them are.
You are the only one worried about your looks, health, goals, etc.
Don't live to satisfy expectations of others.
Living life for others leads to losing your identity and sense of self.
It leads to a constant fear of acting against someone's preference.
You throw away who you really are and live other people's lives.
If you go to a party while you'd rather stay home and rest just because you want your friends to keep liking you, you've fallen into the path of hating yourself.
If you don't like yourself, no one else will.

Someone disliking you is proof that you are living with your own principles.
It means you are living your life for yourself, not to satisfy others.
If you are not living your life for yourself, then who is going to live it for you?
Also, if you are not living for others, it means that other people are not living for you.
Someone might not act the way you want them to, and that shouldn't frustrate you.
To live for yourself, and by your own principles is the way to live freely.

5. Other people are not better nor worse than you.

We evolutionarily developed to compare ourselves with others.
This comparison leads us to have a hierarchical view of the world.
A hierarchical view of the world means there are some people above you, and some people beneath you.
We use comparison for self-improvement, so we tend to focus on people above us.
There are infinite aspects in life and we can never be on top of the hierarchy in all of them, yet we strive for it.
Now with today's social media, we can always find people who are better than us in anything we put our hands on.
This constant focus on people above us leads to a deep seated feeling of inferiority.

Feeling of inferiority can cause excessive self-consciousness about other peoples opinions and how they look at you.
When you confront someone who you consider better than you, you tend to fear them, let them walk all over you, or act with extreme conservatism.
It's the same when you face someone you consider to be worse than you.
You act condescending, you unconsciously bully them, or act as if their opinions and lives don't matter as much as you do.
In other words, you get further away from being yourself in your interactions with others when you see the world hierarchically.